About 4-5 years ago I realised I was suffering with Depression. From the first day I realised I was suffering I made the decision to write about it, anonymously, via my blog. At the time I was still a serving Police Officer and was tweeting and blogging via a pseudonym and so I made the decision to blog openly and honestly about my journey, about first realising I had depression, why I thought that was the case, about that first trip to the docs and the process I went through on that and subsequent visits. I blogged about the way in which my depression was handled and dealt with by my superiors and Occupational Health unit in the Police Service and how it impacted my family. I also wrote about things I did that helped me manage my depression, or “Black Dog” and how I managed to get to a point where I wasn’t using medication anymore because I had the issue under control via other methods.
Writing openly about it helped me. It was a very cathartic experience getting my thoughts and feelings down “on paper” and speaking to my digital counsellor if you like. Even if nobody ever read what I wrote the process of getting it out of my head and off of my chest was a significant step in my own personal process. More importantly to me however was the fact that my blog helped other people. The huge influx of emails, tweets and messages I received from a number of different countries across Europe and also in the US as well as here in the UK from people who had been scared to admit they had depression, afraid to take that first step and visit their doctor, petrified of telling they employers but who claimed they had read my blogs and felt inspired to take control was unbelievable.
When I initially set out blogging it was on my general blogging site and the blogs sat amongst all my other blogs on policing, politics and conspiracies but they remain to this day my most ready blogs. I have since removed them from that blog so that I can update them, edit them and make them more concise to publish here on this blog specifically dedicated to that subject matter. I didn’t think for one second that my blogs would help others and I didn’t realise how much helping others would actually also help me in gaining control of my black dog but it did play a major part in my journey.
Once complete those blogs will be published here in a series from the first blog I published right through to brand new blogs talking about my continuing journey today. Talking openly about depressive illness and indeed all mental health issues is a very important factor in understanding the problem for both the person suffering and the people in their lives. As you will see in my blogs it was through me helping a person very close to me with their own depressive illness that I first recognised I too needed help. As you will read a lot over these pages, depressive illness is NOT a sign of weakness, it is the curse of the strong. Click on Black Dog Awareness at the top of this page to find out more about that fact.
Thanks for visiting and taking the time to read and I hope that this website helps you in some way or another to understand the nature of The Black Dog.